Lien Yiny's World (2008 - current)

CNY Visiting

2012-01-30T13:37:00.008+08:00

This CNY was such a rush for me, just managed to do 2 days of house visiting in KL and it's time to fly back to KK again - for the last time as a student.

the need to work on plant design energy balance during CNY was simply annoying. I missed the chance to visit my primary 6 class teacher when the rest of them were there..

Still looking good, I see. Well at least, I managed to meet up with these few old friends at night when they came by to taman desa :)

not forgetting my childhood good friend, Hsiao Vern who just got back from London too. Haven't seen her in yearss!

Also dropped by at Joanne's place with Jessy and the group. finally I get to gamble for the first time this year and won a bit of pocket money from there teehee..

2nd day of house visiting in KL started off by having dimsum with Edwin, Khai Yin and Wei-Jan.

t'was a birthday treat from them though. thank you :))

Stopped by at KY's place for a few hours afterthat to chat and to try on her dresses to see if they fitted me for my course night. Here are the long dresses that I tried.

Posted the above picture up on FB and the response was overwhelming, with 30 over people stating their preference and comments. I honestly didn't see that coming.. Made me feel a bit.. weird, somehow or other.

Well my last house visit was done with my high school girl friends.

Yup. Just the four of us.. spending some time to catch up from one house after another since everybody's gonna get busy with work or studies again.

and that's all for my CNY visiting. Wish I could have a longer stay in KL but.. it's always the things that we can't have enough that we tend to appreciate more right?

Happy Birthday to me, myself and I. Flying off in 3 hours' time.

Mid Valley Again..

2012-01-25T21:14:00.007+08:00

Went out with one of the best roommates ever! plus a senior I met in Kg E back when I was in my first year :)

Noob right my look? I stole her specs to camwhore while she went to buy some drinks. haha.

Though haven't met in years, we are still as chatty as before. we talked about experience, we talked about uni, we talked about working life, we talked about so many unrelated stuff which gave all 3 of us a great few hours of laughter. This is what we call, a real happy outing.

hope to see them again in the future :)

CNY 2012

2012-01-25T12:35:00.008+08:00

Chinese New Year has always been nice. Though many didn't return to mum's hometown this year for various reasons (nobody take care of the pets at home, daughter's in NS etc.), we still made our way back to Perak. We as in mum, dad, bro and I. Sis is still in Japan :(

Took us 7 hours to drive back there and 4 hours back to KL, traffic madness!

Not enough "kaki" to gamble this year.. eat, sleep, watch TV and witness mahjong playing aside, mum brought few of us to Segali, Setiawan and Lumut to jalan-jalan.

she and her 2nd sis and 2nd bro. We visited the newly built temple in Setiawan..

the presence of kids has always spiced up the CNY excitement a lot more :)

I guess kids can feel the affection from adults although we don't express it to them. the moment I smiled to them, the kids (no matter how mischievous) just couldn't help but to cling on to me. hehe! it feels really warm to just hug and pat them while watching TV or so. though i look utterly pale in the last picture, it's still a picture of me and my favourite rou rou, the girl who accompanied me through my days doing internship in Ipoh. Love her to bits!

2nd day back

2012-01-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

and I got another bunch of presents from my dearest SY who came back from Adelaide..

Always a sweetheart. Love her much! :)

First Day Back

2012-01-20T01:05:00.006+08:00

Must have woken up on the right side of the bed this morning. Every little thing that happened today definitely contributed to the complete smile on my face now. (Well I guess I definitely deserve some nice time out after all the final year work in Sabah..)

Spent the first half of my day shopping with the girlfriend in MV and the Gardens.

So many stuffs that we wished to get, so little money that we have sigh!! Always happens, right? So here's one of the dresses that caught my eyes today but I simply do not have the money to buy it.

Simple. Plain. Elegant. I like! but it costs RM350 sobs!! Need or not....

Anyway, got myself two dresses and a pair of sandals from vincci, which! was supposed to be Jessy's but they only had my size so jeng jeng jeng!

my new sandals for CNY hehehe!

Got home at about 4.30pm, and was told to have a parcel for me from Japan LOL!!

.... my FIRST 24th birthday present from my sister! yahooooooo!!

Continued to parade around the house on the dresses that Jessy gave me for freee.

They are so lovely I was so happy, mum was so happy, the entire house was full of happiness today!! LOL.

well, also met up with a few of my primary school friends at Kuchai this evening. Looking forward to our CNY house visiting plan next week.

Feels great to be back ;)

Exam is OVER!

2012-01-12T20:27:00.008+08:00

Woke up this morning without the voice of taylor swift's, stared at the ceiling fan for 30 minutes till my roommate went "what happened to you..?" and I replied "I don't know what to do for the rest of my dayyyyy!!"

LOL.

yeah. so my seventh semester is almost reaching its endpoint - with only my fyp viva left on next Tues. Funny how things turn 180 degrees around in just a day. Just yesterday we were busy scribbling on heaps of papers trying to cramp as much horrible particles technology formulas into our pathetic brains as possible, screamed and jumped out of nervousness until we forgot about our meals.

and all that big fuss that we made yesterday turned into a history now.

Seriously! I don't remember the last time I stayed here in Sabah without thinking about my next assignment due or my next paper to prepare for. and that is exactly why we don't feel the time passing by us so quickly!

a coursemate of mine just texted me and said "yiny, we only have 150 days left together", and that struck me hard. 150 days. ONLY? time goes by so swiftly. all those conflicts and dramas and arguments that made all of us went cuckoo, all those sweet things that our friends did to us once in a while, all those motivations and encouragements that we gave each other in times of need. come to think of it, were part and parcel of our university life in Sabah, that kept us going even though we're far away from home.

I was never a strong girl. I never thought I could make it this far. but leaving home had certainly taught me how important friends are, and how we should all learn to take care of ourselves when our loved ones are not around us.

and that of course, include learning how to make true friends whom you know you can always turn to in times of need.

Thank you all, for making my life here a significant chapter. 150 days left. Just 150. everything after that will turn into history again. people, cherish our time together!!

Chapter 31: Become Aware of Your Moods and Don't Allow Yourself to be Fooled by the Low Ones

2012-01-09T23:05:00.005+08:00

Your own moods can be extremely deceptive. They can, and probably do, trick you into believing your life is far worse than it really is.

When you're in a good mood, life looks great. You have perspective, common sense, and wisdom. In good moods, things don't feel so hard, problems seem less formidable and easier to solve. When you're in good mood, relationships seem to flow and communication is easy. If you are criticized, you take it in stride.

On the contrary, when you're in a bad mood, life looks unbearable serious and difficult. You have very little perspective. You take things personally and often misinterpret those around you, as you impute malignant motives into their actions.

Here's the catch: People don't realize their moods are always on the run. They think instead that their lives have suddenly become worse in the past day, or even the last hour.

Truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you're in a low mood. Rather than staying stuck in a bad temper, just remind yourself, "This too shall pass." It will.

-Richard Carlson

Something worth sharing and remembering. I can't be flying into a temper or making a big fuss outta everything all the time. I've gotta learn!

Ungrateful

2012-01-07T13:13:00.006+08:00

it's absolutely alright that my good intention was not appreciated by one-and-only and I was accused of "acting generous", for many others did appreciate my work and this is why I feel that all my hardwork was paid off. haha!

one of the purest joy from extending our hands that some people will never get to grasp. too bad for them then.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T02:09:00.005+08:00

First and foremost, Happy New Year to my dearest blog! (and readers if there is any)..

Unlike all the other blogs out there which, I suppose are filled with new year resolutions, new year plans, new year hopes and new year everything, I simply do not have the luxurious time to sit down, think and list out my new year resolutions because finals will commence in 3 days' time and I'm not even 20% through my revision wth.

Yeah.. so you think it's yiny being yiny again. pulling her hair, screaming about her last minute job, freaked out and getting all tensed up for examination. Typical me. but hey, all this is coming to an end. just 6 months left and I'll be walking into the ~~realistic~~ working world which by then, I know I'll miss this entire hair pulling-last minute-freaked out-tensed up sensation because life as a student has always been and will definitely be one of the best chapters in my life. I know it best.

Well. I spent the last day of year 2011 by having dinner at Michelle's (she's quite a good cook btw! really liked her dishes.)

followed by a yumcha session with these few crazy girls at yoyo cafe, Damai.

two cups of milky tea with lots and lots of crap and laughters. a fun filling moment, an enjoyable night.

so that's how I ended my year 2011. simple, crazy, yet satisfying.

I wonder where will I be, and who will I spend my new year eve with this time, next year. whatever the future holds, I'll still strive to be all that I can be - living life to its fullest!

Happy 2012 :)

Discovery

2011-12-27T23:27:00.004+08:00

Took me almost ONE hour to realize that only me, myself and I have the ULTIMATE control of my very own feelings. such a simple theory but to me it was like FINALLY!! yahooooooo!!

I always thought emotions were contagious or at least, influenceable. My entire evening could have been ruined by someone. over something. which can made me go all furious. and emo. and the beginning of another LAME drama!!

but hohoho Merry Christmas! the more frequent people throw shit at me, the more immune I become. If you think you can hurt me just because I was fragile, you are SO WRONG! Santa gave me the magic formula to learn that apart from myself, absolutely nobody can affect me!

my BEST gift of the year!!

The magic's in my wand now. I choose to smile, look up and let my life flow with colours! Thumbs up for growing up! :)

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-25T19:01:00.004+08:00

Turned out that Christmas eve wasn't that bad after all. Celebrated it with a few close ones by having dinner at Little Italy.

Italian cuisines never let me down. but the guilt after consuming all the cheese was... lol.

Went to KK Timesquare as well as waterfront in search for a place to chill but everywhere was so packed and the prices per bottle/entry were seriously throat cutting. zzzz. festive season.

so we settled at Cock n Bull at Waterfront for a some light drinks instead.

Reached home around 3am, exhausted. that marks my one and only Christmas celebration here in KK, Sabah.

Merry Christmas world!

Where Are You Christmas

2011-12-23T23:17:00.004+08:00

Another hour to Christmas eve. and 25 hours to Christmas.

I was really looking forward to my first and last Christmas celebration in Sabah. I wished to make a good memory together with loved ones this year since it's already our final year here.

sadly though, people around me just don't feel the need to celebrate X'mas. I wonder why. They don't really look forward to this season as much as I do. I can't feel much of the Christmas spirit yet. Not much Christmas deco over here, no Christmas plans, no Christmas outings, and are you serious about working on your studies during Christmas?? Gosh..

I guess as we all grow up, Christmas just slowly fades away. No more hanging of socks on door knobs waiting for surprises, no more Christmas caroling around city and gain side incomes, no more countdowns at the city centre getting all sweaty and crazy, no more drinks with friends which bring out much laughters, no more in-house party, no more Christmas dinners.

Poof!

My playlist is now playing Faith Hill's Where Are You Christmas. The lyrics totally sync with my current feeling. Shall download more Christmas songs and keep playing them. That will be my Christmas present for myself this year boohoo!!

Reminiscing the Past

2011-12-19T21:39:00.003+08:00

This afternoon, a girl came FB-messaging me out of blue and said "dropped by to say hi. just to let you know that, once in a while, the peeps in choir say i look like you. hahaha random stuff. have a nice and decent december =)"

I didn't let the conversation end there.. managed to ask how the national choir is doing recently. just like me, this petite KL girl is a music enthusiast who's been in choir for several years now, and she's loving the choir even more with time. browsing through her fb pictures made me think of the good old choir days. ahh.. such joy.

a weight on my shoulder was removed after the submission of our plant design milestone 3 today, although I'll still have a presentation and a paper to sit for tomorrow. oh well. workloads and deadlines are never ending. final year in uni really taught/is teaching me on how to manage my time and stress level. seriously, if I don't manage these two cheekly little monkies well, I'm afraid I'll be managed by them in return.

Hence, the decision to watch Glee - the drama I left aside for a few months now despite the test and presentation tomorrow hohoho.

So happened the episode I watched was about the regionals. reminded me of my days in Sentosa as the conductor and the leader of a group of choir kids, fighting through our battle. I almost shed tears listening and looking at the Glee kids performing on stage.

"Get it Right" and "Loser Like Me" are two songs which are on top of my favourite list now. Sometimes we just need to throw a fist in the air and accept that life isn't fair. but that doesn't mean that we can't make the best out of what we have right? Call me a loser if you wish, because one day, you'll wish to be a loser like me. good one.

I guess it's just another day to miss the touch of music. again, I was really amazed and drowned by the power of music. what a nice way to close a tiring day :)

Solitude

2011-12-14T22:00:00.004+08:00

Almost burnt the whole blender in lab when I was blending my papaya leaves today woots!

Nonetheless, I enjoyed working with myself.

As peculiar as it may sound to hear this from me, there is something rejuvenating and peaceful about being alone and having some time to work, reflect and simply enjoy the silence.

I'm pretty much on a bumpy ride now. and I used to be the girl who "follows wherever the crowd goes" because I used to love group activities. I guess I've changed, together with my perception on people.

I'm beginning to do what my heart tells me to do. I feel like it, I go for it, even if it means doing it alone. Spending some time just with myself helped balance the noise and complications that infiltrate much of my day. and when I'm back facing the crowd and the world afterthat, I feel much relaxed.

The power of solitude.

Lesson

2011-12-13T21:06:00.003+08:00

Every stream of tears which rolled down this cheek reminds me of how my kindness was being taken advantage of.

And in each stream was another reminder for myself to never be too kind to people.

Thank you for shattering my heart, for if it wasn't because of you, I wouldn't realize how realistic the world can be. I'm lucky I learnt this now.

Another Lost

2011-12-09T13:09:00.004+08:00

Life is so unpredictable.

Just a couple of months back I was catching up with a 3 years junior who bet I forgot who he was. Of course I remembered him. A prefect, a scout, a young and vibrant guy with lotsa guts in him. A great junior who respected and gave his full co-operation to me during our prefects time.

He passed away in a car crash.

The news hit me like a big bag of sand was dropped on top of my head. I was so saddened by the news.

Reading the words and the pictures that everybody posted on his FB wall really upsets me. How can life be so cruel. He's merely a 20-year-old with so much dreams to pursue.

I can't believe this happened to him. Even in one of my dreams last night, I dreamt of him replying the FB posts.. stating that everything was just a prank, and he appreciates everybody who took the time to moan about his lost.

Truth is, he's gone. and nothing's gonna change anything now.

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2011/12/sheriff_identifies_victim_in_f.html

Rest in peace, Seet Weng.

UMS-UTC Joint Installation

2011-12-04T11:35:00.019+08:00

Just recently, the UMS and the University Toastmasters Club have had our joint installation at the Shangri-La Tanjung Aru Resort.

As was clearly displayed on the picture above, the theme for this year's installation was the "Masquerade Night"

Lotsa tasty food aside..

We had hugs and kisses

Fun and laughter

Skit of elephant washing

Lucky draws

Singing Performance

Installation and awards giving..

Speeches

Toastmasters of the Evening

The Club Mentor

The Area Governer

The VIPs

The Girlfriends

a.k.a the cam-holics

The Good Friends

and the EVERYBODY

who/which made the night a great and fun filling one.

Toastmasters rule!

My Engineering Story

2011-11-27T00:42:00.003+08:00

Fortunately, my story was chosen to be one of the 6 winning engineering stories in the recent essay writing competition organized by the Institution of Engineers Malaysia, Sabah Branch. Attended their Annual Dinner and received my RM500 cash prize together with my friend, Neoh. wohoo!

Interested in my story? Here it goes:

"What is a Chemical Engineer?"

If the above question is directed to you, what lights up in your mind? An engineer who manufacture chemicals? Or a chemist who works in a laboratory?

Truth is, none of the above is correct. I grew up believing that Chemical Engineers are engineers who make chemicals. The English language has never really made any sense and the name "chemical engineer" is a case in point. Nobody told me what a chemical engineer does, until I was given the golden opportunity to do my internship a couple of months back in NSL Chemicals, Ipoh.

Growing up as a city folk, I enjoyed putting on makeup, attractive attires and my favorite heels to attract gazes of jealousy at the city centre. When I first arrived at the chemical plant to report for duty as a trainee to the company, I had the shock of my life. Not only was I told to put on personal protective equipments like safety boots, safety helmets and long sleeved coat which made me look utterly terrible, I had to work under the cruel hot sun for long hours, either at the quarry or in the control room of a 40 storey tall lime kiln. I immediately regretted my decision of taking this route.

However, as time went by, I realized the scope of work for chemical engineers is way beyond what I had always imagined.

During my internship, I was given a mini project to work on under the guidance of a very knowledgeable engineer to realize the relevance of my coursework to the industry. Initially, I had to do a lot of readings and research about the project that I was assigned to. After completing my research then, I was told to come up with a plan on how to implement my research findings into the existing technology.

It was then that I realized the importance of both analytical and interpersonal skills to achieve the goal that is vital to the development of the company, industry and the country. Chemical engineering is really a lot more than just "converting raw materials and chemicals into useful commodity products". A great depth of scientific and technical knowledge is required to improve and modify the existing technology, so that the end products of better quality can be produced in time, at lowest cost while leaving minimum impact to Mother Nature.

In short, I see my life as a chemical engineer 20 years down the road as a route of learning with no ends. The combination of profound scientific knowledge, innovation and creativity will be used to broaden the horizons of the world we explore. And when the bigger picture of what I, (as a chemical-engineer-to-be) am capable of contributing to the industry illuminates in my mind, working under the sun or putting on protective equipments are just, nothing. I look forward to my career as a Chemical Engineer and will strive to make the world a better place for all.

I wanna LEAVE!

2011-11-24T15:45:00.003+08:00

I think this blog is progressively turning into a melancholy site.

Is it because I'm progressively turning into an emotional freak, or is it because Sabah has absolutely nothing for me to smile on anymore?

I don't wish to say this, but I'm starting to hate my life in Sabah and the people here. I should have gotten myself a single room. What. I can't even be myself in my own room now. I can't even get a private spot to breathe and to relax myself. I hate my current life!

Yes you hear me right. I HATE MY CURRENT LIFE!

Tired

2011-11-20T22:43:00.005+08:00

It was as though everybody in our group was cursed by someone compassionless, things have been surprisingly and amazingly bleak, with more and more people getting involved in accidents and misfortunes, injured here and there, getting in and out of hospitals, leading to even more outlays when it comes to getting things "settled" le sigh.

It's really not easy to be the victims of nightmares who haunt them every once in a while, I understand the feeling, for I was in their position two weeks ago. I'm not sure if what I did was adequate to make any of them feel better or if anybody even appreciates it, but what I can say is, I'm tired.

Tired of all these things happening to everybody, tired of doing what I could as an ordinary person yet still getting the blame of being biased or not good enough for anybody, tired of needing to smile and swallow everything even though I'm crying inside. Nobody understands how I feel. Everybody is so self centered they think they are the most pathetic person on earth, they deserve the best treatment yada yada yada.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Somebody please stand in my shoes and tell me what I should do or how to make myself feel better? Why can't people just stop comparing and be a little more appreciative? Don't they know that a simple thank you can brighten my entire day of doing my best? It really seems like my good is just never good enough for anybody. I'm such a disappointment zzzz. Tension.

过渡期？

2011-11-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

人一旦低落了，什么都显得不顺利

车祸啦，感情啦，友情啦，课业啦，精神啦，心情啦

也正因为如此，对任何事都格外敏感

想的，做的，看到的，都是负面的

开心不起来

也忘了如何生存

我该怎么办才好？

Warmth of a simple SMS

2011-11-11T22:03:00.003+08:00

Just when I was down, and everybody else was busy with their own work (as always!), a text that says "study hard.. good luck with your exam next week. I'll buy you present from langkawi ok" from mummy dearest touched my heart.

Always and forever, mum's the best!

What If

2011-11-10T01:23:00.003+08:00

Got myself involved in a minor car accident today, while driving at the roundabout in KF..

Suddenly it struck me, what if anything happens to me in the future? Have I lived my life full enough to end it anytime? Should I continue to drive or be driven?

the never ending what-ifs are playing repeatedly in my mind. sigh! expecting insomnia tonight..

Must Watch

2011-10-29T11:17:00.003+08:00

parallel with the never ending workload and stress were crazy dramas that made me went psychotic. then out of blue the sabah gfs decided to have a midnight movie after our weekly toastmasters meeting on a "Friday Night".

yeah.. TGIF.

the Real Steel was one hell of a chun movie. even though I was pretty drained out when I entered the cinema, I was totally absorbed by the movie. I rate it as a 8/10. A must watch for all you lifeless people who are still reading my blog even though I haven't really posted anything interesting recently. seriously. go watch the Real Steel already!

teehee. that's all from me. have a wonderful weekend :)

Down, Again?

2011-10-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

I foresee myself as one of the toughest patients in a psychiatrist's office who suffer from severe behavioral and mental problem. Seriously. I hate myself for being so emo and pessimistic all the time. I need strength, to carry on living. I do not know how to control my emotions. I do not know how to instill more positive ions in my conscience. I'm surrounded by dark clouds.. Everything in my mind is negative, negative, negative. I think I need help.

First Time Making Soup

2011-10-27T00:45:00.003+08:00

so the city girl has finally decided to step into the kitchen and make a pot of decent chicken soup for a couple of her good friends.

to do this, she texted and called her mother back in KL several times, only to be teased and laughed at for the mother thought this would be a mission impossible - the city girl has never touched a raw chicken for the past 23 years, let alone cleaning it.

but hehehe! she did it.

maybe not as mouth-watering as what her mum is capable of making, but it was fine.. she's glad, really glad it turned out fine. she hopes to improve further in time.

*gives myself a pat on the back* yahoo!

Words

2011-10-18T21:53:00.008+08:00

Like I said, words are only words. Promises are also mere words.

Most people make promises because they thought they can achieve what they pledged to themselves/ to others. and when the actual situation comes, they fail. WHY?

1. because some people just promise for the sake of promising
2. because some people just cannot do it

When I shared this picture on fb, mum commented: "agreed. you have two legs to stand and be independent"

I sure have. but what I cannot tolerate is people who give sweet promises which melted me off and choose to remain silent and mind their own business when the real scene comes. urrggh!

I remember reading this article about "everytime you complain, a fairy dies", and I HOPE I can complain less too. but this whole thing is bothering me so much now I cannot help but to feel exasperated. I need to control myself.

sigghh

2011-10-17T21:34:00.001+08:00

my playlist just played Five for Fighting's Superman.

T.T

pain pain pain!!

Looking Forward

2011-10-16T10:34:00.004+08:00

The Shubert group of the Vienna Boys' choir will be coming over to perform LIVE in UMS. I can't remember when was the last time I watched the Vienna Boys perform in MPO, but it sure was a memorable one to me and my fellow choir friends.

I hope the performance in UMS will be just as good. been a while. looking forward.

the Train

2011-10-15T11:14:00.003+08:00

Came across a Chinese article on FB, which a direct translation would sound something like this:

Life is like a ride in a train heading to grave. There may be numerous stations along the way, but no passenger would be there to accompany you through the entire journey.

You will meet different people at different interchanges, getting in and out of your train from time to time. If you're lucky, certain people will escort you through a part of your journey, but when it's time for these people to alight from your train, you have to bid them farewell appreciatively, no matter how upset or dreadful it is.

Perhaps there will be a new passenger who'd escort you further in the next station, perhaps not. We do not have control of anybody or anything in life, but we do know the people who are with us NOW. Appreciate your time left with the people you love, for we never know when are they leaving our train, and when will our train reach its final destination.

Great Night with the Toastmasters

2011-10-08T09:54:00.002+08:00

So there I went for the competition as a novice speaker, shared "My Internship Experience" with the floor by volunteering to be the first speaker (I couldn't wait to get it over and done with wth my nerves were killing me!). Then I sat back, relaxed and literally laughed out LOUD for the rest of the night.

The rest of the speakers were simply FANTASTIC. It was as if they were born to just speak in front of the public and mesmerize the crowd. I had one hell of a night laughing my lungs out with either my fist banging on the table continuously or my arms wrapping around my stomach with tears of laughter welling in my eyes. My GOD! the toastmasters were so good I truly truly enjoyed my night listening to them.

Yes, I wasn't placed. It was like duhhh who am I compared to them man? but hey! people I met yesterday were all so friendly and kind they just wouldn't stop encouraging me and gave me the motivation to keep improving. One day, I told myself, I will be like them. Maybe not at their age, but a lot more younger muahahaha!

A FB post to my idol last night:
I remember posting on this wall last year, and I'm doing the same thing now. Congratulations Ophelia. You never fail to inspire, entertain and show me how much room do I have for improvement. All the best in your next contest!

and she replied:
Awwww thanks babe *hugs* you did very well too. Don't stop growing in TM ok. U have so much potential in you.

NICE right? hehe! She was the champion for both the humorous speech contest AND the evaluation contest for area K4. Although sometimes it may seem like the club's activities are taking quite a bit of our time (yes, chemEng students have a hell lot of work to deal with wei) Joining the toastmasters is really something I did NOT regret doing. It's all down to time management again. I will commit myself as much as I can cope with. :)

Humorous Speech Contest

2011-10-05T09:39:00.004+08:00

My first time public speaking on stage..

I realized my expressions and gestures are pretty much the same as when I was singing solo on stage. swt.

and so.. I'll be representing my club to compete with the professional speakers this Friday *gasp*. 99% confident that I'm going to LOSE this battle (haha!) but I'm winning the experience! :) just wish me luck!

3rd week of uni

2011-09-29T22:15:00.002+08:00

Last year's 3rd week, we just came back from our Tawau trip, took some time to chill out and was just about to begin attending lectures.

This year's 3rd week, we already had assignment submited, and are dealing with FYP, Plant Design, tutorials, assignmentSS and researches all due very soon! and what's even more challenging? test is starting next week.

swt la!

Reminiscence

2011-09-25T21:36:00.007+08:00

Tensed like I'm going to DIE of stress anytime, but several issues still happened over the past two weeks I don't know how many gallons of tears have I lost. one after another, not even a quick break for me in between. I couldn't even control the nerves in my body my hands trembled for several hours without listening to my command. still, the only person I really spoke to was, noone.

Suddenly reminded me of someone. Just because of a stupid misunderstanding, I lost a great friend I really trusted. No matter how he blamed, hurt, misunderstood and cursed me that he wishes I'd burn in hell right now, I'm still with my thoughts. I won't listen to a single word outsiders say.

Why? because they are outsiders..

I did no wrong. and I believe still, that one day he'll understand and regret everything he once did to me. he will regret. and when that day comes, he's officially turned into a true man.

Bad Day

2011-09-20T19:38:00.006+08:00

I probably wore the shirt colour that clashes with my zodiac sign today. Everything just didn't go my way and I was pretty much a grumpy and emotional lady today that I couldn't control myself I went to the lavatory and cried.

the only difference between today's self pity compared to the previous ones was that, I was spotted. Damn.

A group of friends who were more than ordinarily concerned came and gave me hugs, told me everything was going to be fine and offered to lend me their hands whenever I need them. As much as I wish that what they said can be done, deep down I know I will still have to deal with everything myself. Consolations are only meant for comforting purpose. Get real.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_8ydghbGSg&ob=av3e

the song which gives me the best motivation now.

Gosh, I'm really, really doubting my own capability and I'm very stressed out and worried aaahhh I'm so going to screw my final year. Who doesn't want to rise from the ground? but is it even possible given such circumstances?

Satisfaction

2011-09-18T23:22:00.003+08:00

5 consecutive days of work and sleep aside, I drove back to KF from 1Borneo safe and sound :)

Quite an achievement for me nyehehehe! Time to get serious with studies already?

Slow..

2011-09-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to feel that my 12 working hours a day is progressively turning me into a retard. I can't seem to understand human language and I'm reacting slow to a lot of things!

End of Holiday

2011-09-11T02:05:00.006+08:00

After my internship, there was this "cool" period of time where my name didn't cross any of my friends' mind so I learnt how to deal with life being a home-girl doing house chores, tidy up my room, watch dramas, read newspaper, study about investment, day dream or wander around in Mid Valley alone.

and when it was almost time for me to leave for Sabah, one by one my friends came looking for me sometimes I even had to attend 4-5 meet ups a day: which also meant tearing of my purse. Of course, I was more than glad to be remembered and I truly appreciate every single effort done by these KL friends even if it was just a quick chat, a badminton game or a movie. Pleasure's definitely mine. :)

Here are just a few out of the hundreds taken during my last week in KL.

Didn't expect my last "farewell" to be with with my old choir friends.. some of whom I have not met for more than 3 years! the moment I saw them I was like Oh.My.God. this can't be you, look how much you've grown!! LOL.

I think the whole world has grown taller except for yours truly. either that or I shrinked.

The end of my longest uni semester break. I sure hope to meet up with more KL friends my next time back. Geeky mode on, reluctantly :(

Moo Cow Frozen Yoghurt

2011-09-08T01:29:00.004+08:00

Finally got to sit down and try the Moo Cow Frozen Yoghurt after walking pass and talking about it with friends alike since months ago.

Not bad, in my point of view. my choice of frozen yoghurt after tutti frutti now :)

Memories at Quarry

2011-09-05T13:16:00.004+08:00

Was clearing off my pendrive to prepare for the new semester when I suddenly found a few pictures and videos saved by the quarry manager for me. brought back quite a bit of memory, honestly speaking.

here's me working on my reports and emails at the new cabin in quarry.

human beings are always like that. now that I look at these pictures, I think wearing spectacles really isn't that big of a deal afterall. lol. but if you were to make me choose again right now, I'd still opt to go for lasik. it's so much convenient right now the minute I open my eyes every morning, I can just take a quick look at the clock without the need to get up even.

and I'm going to watch a 3D movie tonight without putting on double spectacles muahahaha!

now. back to pictures at quarry. Here's what we call the quarry face.

with lotsa boulders, excavators and dump trucks moving in and out. looks like a nightmare eh? indeed, it was pretty much a nightmare for me at first, but as time went by I got used to it.

while most of my friends comfortably stayed in the lab/office most of the time during their 10 weeks of internship doing routine work, I spent most of mine on field work like that (and got tanned boohoo!). of course, some desktop study in the office and lab assessment in the QC lab were necessary.

and it was all these continuously evolving tasks that made my 10 weeks seemed like 10 days. Great experience, if you ask me. but in terms of long run, I'm not too sure if this is really what I want. Oh well, Que Sera Sera.. We'll see how things go after I graduate..

Trip to Seremban, Ipoh and Penang

2011-09-05T00:18:00.006+08:00

Having to discuss about our trip to North since I-don't-know-how-long-ago, finally I have made it to Penang this holiday together with the Cheam family all thanks to the invitation done by my roommate-to-be :)

Parents dropped me at Seremban after sending sis off at LCCT last Tues.

I spent a night in Seremban trying out her mum's home made chicken chop in black pepper sauce. pretty nice, really! also loitered around the Jaya Jusco in Seremban 2 before we had some girls talk in the room to welcome our early journey up to Ipoh.

to be frank, I kinda missed Ipoh.

I missed the places I used to have lunch with my colleagues, I missed the people I met in Ipoh and the time I spent with them.

I missed how I learnt to take caution of so many things in life and was led by a couple of capable hands to get out of that naive hole I had burried myself for the past 2 decades.

of course, I missed the scrumptious food in Ipoh and the highly addictive ipoh coffee too :)

Continued our journey up to Penang the next morning after having a shared breakfast in Ipoh town. First thing we tried at Penang was the famous penang char koey teow, with FKM as our tour guide.

Thanks buddy! :)

Moved on to a hawker center which name I can't remember now (haha!), before we went visiting the temples around.

really had a good time going crazy with my dear gf. we didn't need a particular topic to talk about, just some random lame topics can get us going for the entire day. haha!

I guess this is how it feels like when you're with people you feel totally comfortable with.. we talk when we wanna talk, we go crazy when we are energetic and we keep quiet when we're drained out (although we DO get severely injured when we argue with each other.. of which I hate most zzz)

chilled in a tea shop at Queensbay mall after meeting up with my ex-roommate whom I missed dearly at Tiong Nam..

there she is, sitting at the far left.

spent a night in my ex-roommate's place and had one of the longest girls talk ever! I regret for doing most of the talkings that night.. I so wanted to know more about things going on with her in Penang but time didn't permit us to do so siggghh why was I so selfish I didn't let her talk!!

T.T

That lady made me swear that I'll go visit Penang again some time in the future and make sure next time round, I stay for more than a night because one night is never enough for us haha!

Before we left for home, we met up with Sigrid and Giap at the main land to try out their food recommendations.

So that's basically it. I'm back in KL again now. just one more week left and I'll be back in that jungle getting all hooked up with work. I'm so gonna miss this summer break badly!

Trip to Malacca

2011-08-29T12:55:00.003+08:00

It was a fun filling one. swallowed loads and loads of food despite my current unacceptable weight. yet, I'm looking forward to another eat-all-you-can trip starting from tuesday. thereafter, I'll start to think of ways to take that extra weights off my body. hehe! it's holiday. what do you expect right? :)

Time is Running Short

2011-08-23T18:10:00.003+08:00

Was just looking at the calender on the sidebar and *gasp* I only have like what, three weeks left of holiday?

Three weeks, only?? Then I'll be back to Sabah for the next 12 months dealing with deadlines, assignments, final year projects, tests and dramas again? Oops!

Am I even prepared for another hectic and heavy schedule? Have I had enough this holiday? NO! the list of things to do this holiday and the people I wanna meet, all still left unchecked.

OMG I need to fully utilise my time already! Enjoy pleaseeee!!

Quote

2011-08-22T01:40:00.002+08:00

a quote I read today says,

"If you spend too much time holding on to the one who treats you as an option, you'll miss your chance of meeting the one who treats you as a priority"

true right?

how much time and effort do we spend on average in a month fretting about people who can't even be bothered about how we feel? they come when they feel like it, they leave whenever they want. one of my biggest weakness (that I'm still working on to improve) is my reluctance to let go of people that seemed significant and had once touched my little heart.

then again, changes in life is almost as inevitable as how time can never be rewound. while you're here wasting time getting all upset about a relationship that you miss dearly, the other party may be happily enjoying his/her life without you. I just need to get this straight: certain things are just not worth my time. Let it be.

Chic POP Bazaar

2011-08-21T19:51:00.007+08:00

the Chic POP Street Market 2011 was held in Jaya One, PJ yesterday.

Thrilled about the event with my dear friends all week long, sad to say though, the bazaar was pretty much a let down to me. It wasn't as happening as we expected it to be though I did see many hot chics walking around inspecting garments everywhere.

Probably the crafts and clothes were just not our cup of tea, I sure hope the rest of the crowd found the bazaar satisfying. It was a great day out with mummy dearest and shirley babe nonetheless.

Lovely pictures credits to Shirley dearest. Having a bad cough now, looks like the nocturnal has to do some adjustments to her sleeping hours already. isshh!

Girls Day Out

2011-08-16T23:33:00.004+08:00

Girls nowadays are SO into playing with pictures that just a random outing with Jessy and CL yesterday got us three crazy playing with the applications that we have to "beautify" our pictures lol.

Let me present to you the work of three typical KL girls one by one okay..

First, the work of Ms Jessy Long, a physiotherapist-to-be lol!!

Not bad, not bad.

Next, the work of princess CL, a lawyer-soon-to-be!

nice effect. good job, good job.

and lastly, the work of yours truly, an engineer-wannabe lol :)

Acceptable larrr right? so I guess this is how jobless people spend their time while on hols. Man, I'm really gonna miss this empty moments in just a few weeks' time when my new semester begins..

I'm Weird in My Own Way..

2011-08-16T01:34:00.004+08:00

It was as though all the long buried dark memories during childhood has come back to haunt me in just a day. People see it as me being childish and unreasonable, but they do not understand what was playing in my mind.

I don't like to explain myself. I kinda have the habit of keeping my thoughts sealed and then I burst into tears and hide in sorrow. Then, as often as not, I pick up my shattered self and move forward. Silly, if you ask me.

but sometimes people just don't do what seems to be more rational and even they themselves have no idea why they choose the path less taken. what a pointless entry, right?

Just to link my future self to the private site: Click here and here!

Spoilt Brats

2011-08-12T20:54:00.000+08:00

I personally have nothing against kids from well to do family, but I simply cannot fathom why, more often than not they have the habit of boasting about the list of branded items they own. From head to toes, anything within the mediocre range would be a disgrace to be put on.

Pardon my ignorance, but why are they so conceited about the brands when it is their parents’ hard earned money anyway? Collecting a third party’s sweat only to acquire a luxurious appearance to self, is this really something to be proud of? Strange.

珍惜

2011-08-11T00:16:00.008+08:00

很多时候同样的一件事
我们可以清楚安慰别人，却无法说服自己

一位朋友昨晚告诉我
不管是友情，亲情，或是爱情
尽管最真的感情换来的往往是最深的伤痛
伤痛之余得到的却有不尽的报酬
~成长，坚强，并学习如何去爱，去信，去疼

哭过，笑过，闹过
争吵后又和好
开心与不开心
在时间的冲刷之下都会化为曾经
真的何必过分在意呢？

一个人炫耀什么，说明内心缺少什么
一个人在意的地方，就是他卑微的地方
越想得到的，越是装作无所谓
越是在乎的，越爱小题大做

或许自己最软弱的地方就是舍不得
舍不得曾经的美好，舍不得精彩片断，舍不得过去
其实再舍不得，感情再好，
很多人注定就只是人生中匆匆行走的过客
缘分一尽，就只能缅怀，
因为路是不可能回头的

很多时候
人总是仰望着别人的幸福
一回头，却发现自己正被仰望着
试问自己的幸福，为何常常只出现在别人眼里？

要珍惜知心朋友，因为知己不易找
要珍惜爱情，因为错过就后悔莫及
更要珍惜亲情，因为往往子欲养而亲却不在

珍惜当下啊...

20/20

2011-08-05T01:50:00.002+08:00

Hello blog. Hello world.

Went back to Sunway for a checkup today and guess what??

My vision's 20/20 now. like woaaaah!! are you still not amazed by the power of technology and what it is capable of? the people who invented this must be very proud of themselves because no satisfaction ever beats the pleasure that flows out of genuine hearts telling them how great their work is. Just imagine that being thrown to them from people across the globe. bravo!!

you won't understand how it feels like until you really experience it yourself, seriously! I just hope this perfect vision can last forever! I'm thrilled. pardon my ecstasy!

many people said this picture is not really nice but hehehhe! i'm still posting it up because I'm in love with the new app I just downloaded based on my friend's recommendation :)

gtg for now. wouldn't want to tire my little new eyes. thank you LASIK!

Stubborn Me

2011-08-03T00:17:00.008+08:00

Typically me. Being me.

Even though I was told by the whole world to TRY not to step out of the house since the fragile eyes are highly susceptible to infection during this healing period, I just.couldn't.help.it.

ugly right. Not that I like being headstrong but staying at home sometimes with the incorrect mood can actually cause a lot of damage to one, emotionally.

I like the above picture a lot, for no reason. Don't they just look lovely? :)

then again, fret not. I'm still avoiding smoky/dusty areas, still applying eye drops and still putting on my UV shades as advised.

and it was with their company that my bleak days got a little sunnier, although I bet they didn't have a clue about what was going on with me lately keke!

and guess whattttt? I accidentally got myself two new pairs of black heels just because I needed a new pair of it but both were so nice and cheap I just couldn't help getting both. my GOSH!

for the first time in so many years, when I brought them home mom was kinda excited to check them out and she did not nag much about my expenses hehehe! I guess the heels fitted so well even she thinks they are worth the dollars paid :)

old old friend. great getting to hang out again.. :)

Spectacles Freeee!

2011-07-31T23:02:00.012+08:00

It's official, that after putting on two heavy television screens on my face for 11 years now,

(picture credits to Ms Jessy Long)

I'm finally getting rid of them for the rest of my life (hopefully!)

For those of you who didn't know, yes, I went for an eye surgery called "customized Lasik" on Thursday and I'm officially spectacles free now. For real! :)

Still, there are many Do's and Don'ts that I need to adhere to at the moment so most of the time now I'm lying on the bed staring at space putting on eye drops and getting fat. urrggh!

and this is how I look like during day time or when I'm staring at the laptop doing some work.

Can't wait for my eyes to fully recover! I need a life!

ps. thank you so much to all my dear friends and ex-colleagues who wished and pray for the success of my surgery! truly appreciate it! :)

First Day of NBTD

2011-07-26T00:06:00.003+08:00

I guess it's true that what looks obvious in hindsight was not exactly obvious at the time. it was another day of drenching myself in deep sorrow (probably because I'm too free at home geez I should get my ass back to work already!) and cried my eyeballs out with the negative thoughts lingering in my mind (could be due to that silly PMS too oops!).

Then again, I blogged it out and started to look things through. Sometimes I just have to accept the fact that things are the way they are because I didn't have the control to many things before. but it didn't occur to me that many things change along the way because we are gaining control as we grow. I just need a well thought out plan and be a little more patient.

My advise for myself: leave the negative past and forget about it; aim for the future and go achieve it.

Internship, Checked.

2011-07-22T23:08:00.004+08:00

How did I feel today?

3 months ago when I was DONE with my finals in Sabah, I had such a bad feeling coming back to the west coast and the main reason was due to the dreadful internship that I foresaw myself undergoing for the next few months.

but it wasn't all that bad, really! in fact it was way beyond my very own short-sightedness.

to write everything here in detail is virtually impossible, but to sum it all up, I was groomed by a couple of capable hands which (fortunately) did not give up on me when things were a little bumpy at the beginning. not to mention the morale support I got from my loving lecturers back in UMS as well as the opportunity and trust given by the top managements. and I'm glad it all turned out well eventually.

Frankly speaking, I was a little lost here and there in the midst of it all, but thank God I found my way out with a few genuine advice received. it wasn't too much about the project, knowledge, workload and the outcome of it, but rather the people I worked with and things I witnessed and experienced myself. priceless, very priceless.

ah, I should stop getting all vague already. to wrap it up, I grew. and I owe my immense thanks to a special few, really.

4 Days Left

2011-07-18T23:32:00.002+08:00

It's such a mixed feeling I don't know how to put it in words.

Well. Good that my sun-burning days are finally coming to an end and my holiday is finally beginning, bad that my time working and a lot of learning have to come to a halt.

Definitely a great experience, very eye opening.

Cheers to all who have made it such a significant one for me! =)

Starving

2011-07-14T21:05:00.004+08:00

Gosh my hunger for knowledge is getting from bad to worse.

Knowledge is so powerful it can be the everything to a somebody and nobody can ever snatch that away.

I'm so glad I never neglected it in the past 23 years. that makes who I am today! =)

Adopt and Adapt - Asha Gill

2011-07-11T23:28:00.003+08:00

Came across the article "Adopt and Adapt" written by Asha Gill just now. there are a few parts from this article that I really adore, so I decided to copy and paste the whole article here to share with my fellow readers.. I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I did.. =)

THE times they are a-changin’, Bob Dylan sang. Change seems to suddenly creep up on you. Things you thought were right, just so, organised or accepted as status quo, start to unravel. It only occurred to me lately that this is ludicrous!

Everything is always changing; we say it enough, that change is the only thing we can guarantee in this life. So why the “Oy Vey!” moment when the last part of the shift actually happens?

Think of icebergs. Those massive chunks don’t suddenly carve themselves off the ice shelf and become floating popsicles atop the freezing ocean in the blink of an eye. Of course they don’t. Nor do most things in life just “suddenly” happen.

Of course, I am not talking about certain types of crises that no one, save those with a crystal ball and future sight, can foretell. Just everyday things that happen along the way when we aren’t paying attention, until they whack us over the head with a baseball bat.

I don’t know if it’s just me but life seems to traverse it’s 24-hour cycle at a manic speed. The force with which we peddle through life is enough to keep our dynamo lights ablaze long after we have turned to dust and ashes. At this pace we can hardly be blamed for not noticing the world around us.

Everything races past us in the opposite direction, or gets left behind; it’s all a blur nonetheless. Keeping our eyes locked straight ahead is akin to donning blinkers. Besides, with this way of charging through life, our awareness and contentment suffers chronically.

To switch off electronically, to disappear off the grid and just mooch at home or converse with nature for a day, without the noise of the television, radio, or any other distraction, is a horrific thought for most people.

Stress has crippled us so extremely that we cannot fully unwind, nor perhaps know how to.

We may go to the park for recreation but how many of us actually just sit and watch the world go by, lost in our own thoughts and contentment?

Insomnia and other nervous complaints are infecting so many of us. People have forgotten how to gently end the day; we either collapse onto our bed or are so “wired up” that sleep is not even a restorative haven.

I am exhausted when I go to bed and I feel tired when I wake up. I cannot remember the last time I jumped out of bed the way my Little Man does, full of beans and energy to go forth and conquer a new day of wonder. Motherhood is not to be blamed entirely; I have to admit I was already burning the candle at both ends before he came along.

Just this morning my Little Man educated me about the trials of being bitten by a komodo dragon, and the fact that one was more likely to die from a gruesome infection due to the lethal amount of bacteria that lives in the mouth of the great lizard than the bite itself.

I was so startled by the fact that he seemed to have suddenly leapt up a milestone overnight. Impossible. Why hadn’t I noticed? How was it possible that I did not see him sitting quietly on the floor with his book on reptiles? Why did I not realise that with his level of literacy, he was actually reading to himself and learning? What rock have I been under?

He had changed and I wasn’t paying attention. With the huge jump in his understanding of himself, he needed me to change my way of mothering him too. My son brought me back to my senses. So this was the reason we’d been at loggerheads lately!

I realised, with relief, that we can adapt and modify stuff as it comes up, negating any need for major drama because being fluid and aware is the key. While structure is a good thing for adults and kids to thrive in and to feel secure, a solid concrete frame is as good as a jailhouse, so use bamboo and bind lightly to extend and expand.

It is okay to change your mind, your life, your opinions, the world around you. There is nothing to fear from change. Being conscious of when change starts and actively being a part of it makes the outcome so much more rewarding.

If change is nature’s constant, aren’t we wasting time being afraid of this concept? Nothing stays the same. Ever. If we don’t slow down to contemplate, think and move forward, we are not evolving.

I, for one, want to be like my son, full of life and the thirst to know more. Even if it means learning that what I knew, I thought, I believed, are irrelevant to my needs today.

In the immortal words of the Buffalo Springfield song, For What It’s Worth: “I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound. Everybody look what’s going down.”

- Lovely article. Don't you think so?

Old Self Again..

2011-07-10T22:31:00.003+08:00

Again and again and again and again.

No matter how many thousand times I've told myself not to mind about the tiny matters that my friends are capable of doing to make me feel down, I can't do it. urrggh!!

I was just on a conversation with my ex-roommate last week and we both agreed NOT to let any of our friends' actions harm us anymore. do not CARE! do not EXPECT! just be contented with what we have.

why is it still so hard to do so?

9 July 2011

2011-07-09T23:10:00.004+08:00

With such glare spreading all over Malaysia and its social network, how could one be ignorant of the current protest? united as one, an electoral reform is all that was urged. yet, tear gas and water cannon were fired at them. Really. How do you think people across the globe would view this as?

Earth Talk

2011-07-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

I was just flipping through the star newspaper when it suddenly struck my mind realizing the relevance of what my GM told me two weeks ago with what is published on the paper: the current development is mostly moving towards the direction of going green – reducing the emission of CO2 and minimizing the total energy consumption.

Look at the seven-storey Energy Commission's Diamond Building in Putrajaya, the entire building was specifically designed to make full use of natural daylight, saving around RM1 million annually in operating costs from energy efficiency and solar power generation.

Next comes the plastic revival done by the recycling factory in Selangor, converting all the discards into recycled plastic pallets which are used to make stretch films (for packaging purposes) or sold to other plastic product manufacturers.

Then we have SK Damansara Jaya saving on electricity by pooling students at the canteen for an early morning session at 7.20am when the day is still crawling in, too dark to turn the lights off in the classrooms.

There were a few other articles that described how people around the world are starting to take caution and action to minimize the threat that we are capable of causing on the already very fragile environment. This is making it more interesting for us, engineers-to-be to develop items/technologies which are directing towards the clean energy future for our earth. (I’m loving my profession oolala!) and let us all do something every day to save the earth a little bit okay! Go being, go green!

1st Report, checked!

2011-07-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

I'm so pleased I managed to come out with a 38 pages report (thus far) within 3 working days without neglecting my work. hohoho!

sheer joy. am I an extraordinary or what?

Outings

2011-07-04T21:52:00.008+08:00

Went back over the weekend just for the two gfs' birthday celebration! =)

and then it was time to start my 8th week of internship already. haha! time flies eh!

Absolutely Engrossed

2011-07-02T09:59:00.003+08:00

I knew I'm that kinda person who'd give my best to everything I do, but I never knew I'm actually more than a workaholic.

Been staying awake thinking about work during my whole 2 and a half hours journey back to KL from Ipoh, had online meeting til 11pm, and sent out mails til 12.30am on a Friday night.

Things are getting more complicated and interesting.

... but I really think I need a break already! and I'll be doomed if I still don't get the time to start my technical report anytime soon.

Revived

2011-06-29T22:30:00.004+08:00

every once in a while, we get so caught up with our own thoughts that we tend to get depressed at the tiniest matter on earth, keep asking why this why that and hate ourselves or our life to the core of the earth.

and most of the time, we just need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of the entire issue that we're making a big fuss about. are we really going to cry/beat ourselves up over things we can't change? No. but we can definitely make the best out of it.

thank you once again, my dear friend, for dragging me back on the right side of the track. nobody knows me better than you do right now. =)

愁

2011-06-24T22:52:00.005+08:00

敏而好学，不耻下问
换来别人觉得的烦

不闻不问，专心自学
换来他人的批评

将自己学会的，与人分享
却说我自作聪敏

不说，不分享
就叫自私

我的有口无心，被人误解
加以解释，就越描越黑

想找人倾诉嘛，却又不知要表达的是什么

对与错，好与坏，白与黑
我真的不会分辨了

当下若回到十五年前
道德教育里的是非题
我究竟还能夺几分？

"No Money, No Thoughts!"

2011-06-22T21:49:00.004+08:00

I admit I don't come from a wealthy family.

There were times when I look at the rich kids who live their lives comfortably off getting what they want instantaneously without having to worry much about the cost. Who wouldn't want to get their feet on an internationally recognized institution if they have the luxury to do so?

I couldn't conceal the sense of envy running through my nerves sometimes looking at how these people enjoy their lives abroad doing equally well academically. but I know I have to face the reality. I can't possibly get overly upset over things I cannot change right? No one is to be blamed in this matter as nobody owes their life to ensure mine is a great one... but I'm envious of others. Just that.

While I was flipping through the papers just now, I saw an article about a group of young performers coming over to KL to perform the Sound of Music. God was I excited! Just when I thought it could be the best reward my parents can buy for me over the years for doing pretty well academically, and my heart was dancing around at the thought of watching one of our family's favourite musical together, I felt a lump at my throat when I saw the ticket price.

the worse seat costs RM190. let alone the better ones (RM590 wtf?)

Forget it. Just forget it urgghh!

People often don't get it. Why do I have to have such a costly passion. Until I meet somebody of equal interest who is better at describing his/her feelings, I do not know how to explain this.. but music of all things that I've encountered for the past 23 years, is the sole art that I really really love.

sigh. I shouldn't have read the paper.

Enlightened

2011-06-18T02:27:00.004+08:00

My brain is saturated with much new theories and reasonings after having an enlightening conversation with my mentor in sg. the two hours spent learning from him thru the phone was the most fruitful occurence of my 5th week in ncm. haha!

i really have a long long way to go.. have a great weekend peeps! do not forget to wish me luck for my presentation this coming Friday! =)

Depressed

2011-06-15T21:12:00.002+08:00

I feel so....... sigh!

I wanna be smarter! howw?

Smartening potion, anybody?

Wings on the Chicken

2011-06-14T23:33:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I need to say this out loud.

Jerks! are still JERKS no matter how many years have passed.

I'm just glad I declined to be his date back then. I pity the girls who were or worse still, is with him. F*cking A*****e. eww! Why did I even allow his words to slap me on my face.

urggh!

My 3rd and 4th Weekends

2011-06-12T12:00:00.007+08:00

On my 3rd internship weekend, I was driven down to Ayer Tawar by my parents to attend cousin yung yung's wedding dinner on Saturday night.

with aunt Polly, mom and aunty Irene.

on Sunday, I spent my time with these kids at the Clearwater Sanctuary Club in Botani Garden, Ipoh.

Mixing around with kids sometimes, can bring out the purest happiness that's hidden in you for a long long time. we just get too obssessed with work and people around us that occassionaly, we tend to forget how to smile and cry with our most authentic heart. saddening, isn't it?

4th weekend back in KL was first spent with mom and her two ex colleagues at Lot 10 and Fahrenheit before I met up with friends.

unfortunately, the plan to catch up between 4 people initially, turned into a conversation of 3 because one of my friends was caught in an accident on her way to Pavilion =(

Pictures with Jeff and Daryl to be uploaded soon when I receive them..

Later at night, chilled with the group at Finnegans Mid Valley.

the three of us girls were so into camwhoring that we missed taking a group picture with the other 5 who were there that night =X

so that's all for my 3rd and 4th weekend back. Doubt I'll be hitting back to KL anytime soon though. Traveling is pretty costly and tiring =(

cheers.

When I close my eyes...

2011-06-09T23:44:00.014+08:00

All I see is this!

this!!

and this!!!

my gossshh!!

Let it GO!

2011-06-07T20:37:00.004+08:00

at the end of the day, I'm still the moron who got myself injured thinking too much about the past and refuse to believe in the ugly present. a good friend of mine told me today that by letting things go, I'm not hurting anybody in the world but allowing myself to feel better.

such a simple theory but makes so much sense at the instant when I was drowning myself in darkness. thanks dear!

people say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I guess it's better to have no expectation on anybody except for myself. I need to carve this in my brain!

Work

2011-05-31T22:46:00.004+08:00

Even though it's already my 4th time doing industrial attachment, I still find myself attempting to adapt to life as a working adult every now and then.

To say that my attachments were boring, they're not because I know I've gained pretty much after every single training. Rather, my soul is bored. with all the company politics, dramas, pressure, expectation, bad mouthing and lies going everywhere (not towards me yet but still!), it really makes me wonder if genuinity of mankind still exists.

Seriously, apart from the handful of close friends I have (thank GOD!), there's practically nobody who can be trusted, at work especially. People always say "homo sapiens are the most realistic and cunning creature you can find on earth", and I've long heard about this. It's just that sometimes, knowing (through the words of mouth) is one thing, believing is another. We'll never be as convinced until we witness/experience something ourselves.

and this is when shutting the eff out of my big mouth is the wisest thing to do. I'll just be the quiet listener who listen, and do what I'm assigned to. nothing more. I wanna stay out of their conflicts, stay out of their wars.

Like I said earlier, I gain pretty much everytime I'm trained. lol. working adults are wayyy to complicated.

My Second Weekend Back

2011-05-29T15:07:00.008+08:00

Took the new electric train ETS from Ipoh back to KL on Friday evening after work and watched the American Idol finale with mom at the comfortable living room with the air-cond on. such relaxation. the two finalists this year are both school kids.. proves how talented youngsters are nowadays.

Met up with the uni gf who came all the way from Seremban to hang out with me =)

always insufficient time for us to catch up hmph! looking forward to see her again in two weeks' time =)=)

yumcha-ed with mom at kuchai's snowflake shop. As usual, that place was packed like mad.

Since mom had a dinner to attend with her own friends, I was driven out by Jessy babe and her bf for dinner at Nando's, followed by watching the movie "Something Borrowed"..

Caught red-handed camwhoring with Jessy's iPad hehe!

my first Nando's meal hoho!

Lovely pictures credits to Mr Simon! =)

the whole of my Sunday was spent with the mother - running from KL Sentral to three different banks in PJ. also spent several hours coaching her on how to use FB keke! picking up real fast I see. Gonna privatize my profile sooner or later lol.

When You Believe

2011-05-23T22:25:00.003+08:00

Dear yiny,

In the future, no matter what sorta problems/tasks you're assigned to, just do NOT ever ever give up. There's always a road which leads you to the light. Try every possibility, however slim the chances may be. You won't know what's gonna happen next. Keep trying!!

ps. Was assigned to a task last Friday, tried browsing through the net over the weekend. Got so frustrated I almost pulled my hair out. Then I saw the name of a geologist in UK who did the same analysis as what I'm supposed to do. However slim the chances were, I tried writing to him via email. GUESS WHAT? he sent me two technical reports (one of which was his collaborated work with other geologists) which consists of 130 over pages for FREE!! my precious!

T.T

I'm so grateful. though still a long way to go, I'm gonna keep my spirit going! I'm not gonna give up till the very last minute! Go yiny!!

My First Weekend Back

2011-05-22T11:19:00.007+08:00

Apart from looking into ways to initiate my personal research study (which I'm really having a problem now siggghh stress giler!), I'm really glad to be able to meet up with a few friends on my Saturday evening..

First it was Sigrid and FKM who are both originally from Penang..

Then it was Cindy, who was one of my choir besties back when we were in youth choir days.

Glad we both had a good chat in Secret Recipe.. followed by some window shoppings to widen up my "scope" for bags and apparels hohoho. now I know what are my desires when I start working in another year's time! =P

Later at night, I was driven to Mont Kiara to chill at Coffee Bean with my darling PY and her love. Talked about all sorts of random nonsense as usual..

Reached home weary in both mind and body.. Listened to some tranquiling music before I called it a day.

Now now, enough with city life. Time for more studies. back to work, me!

Again, My Sweetheart

2011-05-19T22:15:00.006+08:00

"柔柔最疼是谁...?"

"最疼.................你!!!"

接着是一个温暖的拥抱。。再加上温馨的亲亲。。这小家伙真讨人喜爱! 疼死她了!!

My Sweetheart

2011-05-17T22:54:00.005+08:00

this little cutie rushed into my arms the moment I came out from shower today and said "jie jie ni zuo wo peng you ah.." (Jie Jie you'll be my friend ah..) and gave me a loud kiss on the cheek before I could even nod my head to agree.

lovely little girl.

Glad I'll have her to accompany me for the next 10 weeks. thanks for kissing away my blue mood today dearie. I'm so gonna pamper you while I'm here nyehehehe! =)

Make a Change

2011-05-16T23:00:00.003+08:00

Today, I learnt a lesson.

Something that is of total opposite to what I had been all these while.

I'm gonna engrave it on my brain and make a change.

Remember this, yiny. Remember!!!

Helpless

2011-05-14T12:56:00.004+08:00

How'd you feel when you're accused and cursed by someone who was once so close to you for something you clearly did not commit at all? by at all, I meant AT ALL! not even a little bit!

it's so easy to be a listener and a wise advisor to say "just explain to him. once. believe it or not, it's his choice, not yours. so long as you know you've done no wrong, you're not guilty of anything, just leave the whole issue aside and move on with your life"

but heck, you can't help feeling exasperated and.... disappointed can you? How many times does he want to cut this heart with his sharp words? I just hope he'll find out the truth one day and regret what he'd just did/say to me.

I hope.

My Paradise, take two.

2011-05-14T00:56:00.004+08:00

I remember posting up an entry last night about "My Paradise" but it just disappeared when I woke up this afternoon swt what's wrong with blogger seriously?

A request made by one of my readers today was to repost it up so well, let me just recall what I've written last night.. hmm... it started of with something like this..

No matter how dreary or taxing my entire drama day was today... No matter how gloomy or down my friends and I were when we bade each other farewell at the airport just now...

The moment I reached my room, *POOF!* as though the fairy godmother has waved her magic wand on me, I'm all hyper and elated again!

The smell of my pillow, the funny chats with my little bro, the little space I'm so used to indulging myself doing the things I do alone.. aah, love it to the bits!

No matter how exhausted I am right now, I'm not going to bed. I'm dying to freeze this moment and let it flow as slow as possible because the next thing you know, the city girl's gonna leave her paradise to a dead city for her industrial attachment sigh!

I need some fresh air, seriously!

Dilemma?

2011-05-07T00:00:00.003+08:00

Just today, I read about a short article which simply talks about how we human, tend to hold on to little resentments which stemmed from an argument, a misunderstanding or any painful event.

Stubbornly, we often find ourselves waiting for others to reach out to us - thinking that this is the only way we can rekindle a relationship, be it with our friends or family.

We often believe that our positions are more important than our happiness. Actually, they are not. The actual way to be happy is simply to "let go", and take the initiative to reach out. As is usually the case, when someone takes the chance and reaches out, everyone wins.

In the article, it was stated that letting go of things doesn't mean we are wrong.. More often than not, we'll realize that everything will be just fine thereafter. and all the big deals were just nothing actually.

- an article which was totally applicable to what happened to me today. it made me want to take a few steps back and let others be right sometimes. I tried today by apologizing over something which I was NOT supposed to be blamed for due to my ignorance about the whole issue, but guess what happened? the other party didn't accept my apology.. but instead, continued bombarding me with more unreasonable bullets.

Henceforth, I shall leave the whole frustrating issue aside and indulge in the inner peace which stemmed from letting.it.go. screw it!

静的美丽

2011-04-28T11:43:00.002+08:00

多久没有停下脚步凝望那蔚蓝的天空
多久没有静下心头感受夜的宁静夜的美丽
太阳的东升西落我错过了多少
雨后的迷人天虹我最后亲睹又是何时？

外向的我竟对人类厌烦了
你奸我诈，各扫门前霜的复杂关系
更是令我作呕

当下的眼皮虽有十斤重
心却如蒲公英般的轻盈
一个人一本书一杯热巧克力
聆听着空气的呼与吸
胜于洪亮且虚伪的嘻嘻哈哈

此刻的心我很确定是开朗的

把双眸闭上告诉自己
今后无论生活再繁忙时间再紧凑
深。呼。吸
留点时间给自己留点空间给大家

不开心的总会随风消散
今日的在乎不过是未来大宇宙里的一颗小星星
凡事不要过于在意不要过份执着
一切顺其自然开心就好

Heartfelt Condolences..

2011-04-23T17:29:00.006+08:00

While trying to save a couple who were involved in a traffic accident, my friend's dad was hit by an MPV, admitted to the the hospital and passed away yesterday.

=(

he used to be such a nice man... =(=(=(

I can't help but to feel so sour inside.

Not that she'll be reading this but I really hope she'll make it through the trauma..

for more details, click here..

This May,

2011-04-21T23:47:00.002+08:00

Everybody is coming over to KL for industrial training it seems.

Ironically, I'm the only one leaving.

=(

Latest Addiction

2011-04-19T15:41:00.006+08:00

Besides Starbucks (I'm never gonna get bored of that no matter what!) I found my new addiction for food! =D

It was on a random afternoon of a random day when a friend of mine brought me to 1Borneo and asked me what do I have in mind for lunch. Then I suggested

and it (surprisingly) clicked with my taste bud almost perfectly! hohoho.

Three days afterthat I started to miss it, so I had to drag another friend to have it again with me today for lunch nyehehehe!

Study week. I hear the clock ticking. and I haven't done much.

I sense danger.

Lessons Everyday

2011-04-16T21:59:00.003+08:00

Today I came up with a new strategy on how to get rid of all the little things that are bugging our minds almost every hour of every day no matter how unworthy we all know they are.

The idea is to imagine that every one you know and everything that happens around you are meticulously planned for you to learn a new lesson. The people we meet everyday somehow or other are all here to teach us something!

Perhaps the slow moving clerk in the office is here to teach us about patience, the obnoxious guy in class teaches us about being respectful to others, the realistic friend teaches us about the beauty of solitary, the punk rocker teaches us to be less judgmental and the hopeless partner at work teaches us about the productivity that comes from independence which may even surprise you.

Trust me. By having this mentality, you'll find that you're far less annoyed by the actions and imperfections of others. It is easier to let go of your frustration this way as our conscience is constantly telling us that we are benefiting from every incident that is happening around us.

Take your leap today by converting questions like "why are they so like that?" to "what are they trying to teach me here?" and notice how close you are connected to life thereafter.

Cheers!

Finalss!

2011-04-12T10:21:00.012+08:00

It's gonna be one heck of a month

I hope I'll make it through the storm.

Approached a few lecturers to get advice for my fyp, all seems keen. Just with conditions. Gonna think thoroughly...

Exhausted

2011-04-07T16:04:00.008+08:00

I have had ENOUGH for the week.

Man. this is overwhelming. what's wrong with everybody????!!!

T.T

I'm no more than ordinary, please don't expect too much of me. I'm on the verge of breaking down myself. Please.. people, please!

ChemEng Appreciation Night 2011

2011-04-04T20:16:00.010+08:00

In just a blink of eyes, a year has past. While the night in the Promenade Hotel is still vividly pictured in the mind of the past director aka yours truly, another year has gone by and this very night of year 2011 was organized by my direct junior Tsing Yie who is also from the land of mud aka Kuala Lumpur from the West Coast =D

Held in Shangri-La's Tanjung Aru - a nice place with nice ambiance to take nice pictures with, I decided NOT to snap many many pictures like what the rest of them did because I ~~thought~~ still think I didn't look good that night =(

Pictures courtesy of everybody who posted them on facebook. One more night and all will turn into distant memories. Farewell, seniors!

Thus I learnt..

2011-04-04T19:37:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, I learnt that the more I expect of my friends, the more I'll get hurt in the end.

Yesterday, I learnt that people are selfish when it comes to personal benefits. Already knew they were like that long ago, but I couldn't help but to feel disappointed when it hitted me again.

Yesterday, I learnt that people are too realistic, that when you have nothing to offer, people will just evaporate in your world.

Yesterday, I learnt that genuine AND eternal don't come together in pairs – either that or I haven't encounter any.

Yesterday, I learnt that I need to be tough. I have to. Being too dependent will only harm my very own self in the long run.

Yesterday, I learnt that if I were to live everyday of my life like yesterday, I'll turn 5 years older in just a year.

I have NO MORE TIME for the unworthy. I have to seize every moment and strive for my last month here. Serious mode, ON!

sigh

2011-04-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

I have foreseen this happening, but I didn't expect it to hurt equally bad.

shucks.

Do Something Nice for Someone Else

2011-03-26T10:59:00.002+08:00

- and don't tell ANYONE about it

While many of us frequently do nice things for others, we are almost certain to mention our acts of kindness to someone else, secretly seeking their approval.

When we share our own niceness or generosity with someone else, it makes us feel like we are thoughtful people, it reminds us of how nice we are and how deserving we are of kindness.

While all acts of kinds are inherently wonderful, there is something even more magical about doing something thoughtful but mentioning it to no one, ever. You always feel good when you give to others. Rather than diluting the positive feelings by telling others about your own kindness, by keeping it to yourself you get to retain ALL the positive feelings.

It's really true that one should give for the sake of giving, not to receive something in return. This is precisely what you are doing when you don't mention your kindness to others – your rewards are the warm feelings that come from the act of giving. The next time you do something really nice for someone else, keep it to yourself and revel in the abundant joy of giving.

- Richard Carlson.

Another Delayed Entry

2011-03-25T14:34:00.004+08:00

I believe sooner or later I'll get used to the habit of keeping my mouth shut and act as if I'm ignorant to everything when I'm not.

Some people are too good with faking themselves, backstab and act as Mr/Miss Perfect in front of everybody. These are the people I feel utterly contempt for.

Cheap.Little.Filth.

Being a spectator can sometimes be quite tiring. How you wish you could just open your mouth, shout it out on public and bring some justice to fore.. but guess what? I'm just not interested in any of these childish dramas. Only kids are.

However low these people wanna go, go ahead. I'll leave them alone as long as they don't step on my nerves. Personally though, they're not the people I'd look up to.. That's all.

A Delayed Entry

2011-03-25T14:24:00.002+08:00

There's always a random irritating point of time when I open my eyes after a nap or so, I feel so down that I just don't know what to do with myself.

At times like these, I'll either call my mom for a talk (but this doesn't help much cause she'll make me wanna go home swt), or when I know my emotion is not within what I could control anymore, I tend to give up saving myself and start looking for close friends who will definitely draw a smiling face or warm my heart.

And up til today, I'd say these friends have done a fantastic job at pulling me back to the positive side of my emotion. A simple gesture or a joking text which shows concern could make a tremendous difference. Maybe I'm just too easy, I don't know. But all I want to say is.. I'm really grateful to have all these awesome people around me. You know who you are if you're one of them. Thank you so much for lifting me up again.

Here's an entry to remind my future self on how I once had such lovely people around.. Perhaps it's really time to learn how to control my emotions and quit getting frustrated with them over minute matters because I really owe them BIG time!

Care Less, Smile Wider

2011-03-19T11:55:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt utterly helpless, when you know that the person you care for is facing a great height of personal problems right now yet unwilling to reveal a single thing?

every time the question "hey.. what's the matter?" was posted, the only reply you ever get was "I'm fine. everything's okay!" followed by a bogus smile which could only deceive those who do not understand.

Gone were the days where we'd cry on each others' shoulders and whine about everything and anything that was bothering us. I guess this is what growing up does to us - we FEAR how people might perceive us in a negative way, hence the decision to conceal.

Sure, I understand that everybody definitely has something deep within which doesn't wish to share with anybody. some personal secrets. yes. but if that person is someone you really care for and was once somebody so close to your heart, don't you just hope you can do SOMETHING to help? even if it involves only listening? sigh!

I figured though, that the more you care for someone, the more you have to lose. Probably I should quit taking things too seriously.

A friend once told me, in everything you do, as long as you know you've done your part and you're certain that years after when you look back at the very same issue and confirmed you will have no regrets about it, just leave it and move on.

Well in this case, I surmise I've done my part showing enough concern. Here I am trying to help, trying to share the weight.. but if people insist, why bother? I feel like a fool worrying for nothing here!

Care Less, Smile Wider - my new personal quote =)

CC2: Education, is it Necessary?

2011-03-18T13:24:00.000+08:00

Education, Is it necessary? If so, why are we, as students spotting pimples from inadequate sleep, not spending quality times with our loved ones, get tied up with piles and piles of workloads every day. Do you know that many of the CEO or big bosses around you are actually not well-educated? Then WHY are you suffering so much right now getting educated when a high school dropout working in the salon might even earn three folds of what you will be earning in the future? If you are having doubts on why you are putting up with this, let me reassure you that you are here for the RIGHT REASON.

Mr/Ms Toastmaster, Ladies & Gentlemen. Those supposedly self-made CEOs are from another era where they have to work their back out with little time for their loved ones all their lives. For us NOW in this era, education means learning the essential tools to survive in the 21st Century. What are they? The most important one of all is RESOURCEFULNESS. Being resourceful means having the ability to find clever ways to handle and deal with new situations or unexpected difficulties in life.

Let me illustrate

In our everyday activity like shopping for instance. Imagine yourself at a supermarket shopping and there was an announcement about a promotion of a new brand of rice which promotes a high percentage of protein, fiber and Vitamin D claiming to be vital to promote youth and prevent constipation. With education you will be able to listen and discern critically the truth of the announcement and decide whether the announcement is truthful or not, while with lack of education a person will probably stare at the announcement and may also believe the announcement and rush to buy the promoted brand of rice. With education, we can make educated judgements over announcements such as these and not wondered in awe.

Career Opportunities. Every employer today requires expertise from educated individuals and we are weighted in the market based solely on our level of education. Some people might say that knowledge obtained from schools and universities are first sources, and more knowledge about the job is needed. But think about it, without a proper education, that job would never even be within any reach.

The higher our educational attainment is, the better our chances of creating opportunities for ourselves. And the better our opportunities are, the better our quality of life will be. There’s no other way of putting it. Education opens doors for career opportunities needed to make our dreams a reality.

Besides, education makes our conversations sizzle. Imagine yourself striking out a conversation with someone who could only gestures or you are interviewing a candidate for a job and the candidate could not even express what he knows, would you continue with the conversation with that gesturing person or offer the candidate with the job offer. Of course NOT! Now, with education, you will be able to seek knowledge to make your conversation sizzle, to make better presentations of what is expected of you in the job market, to become a more interesting person. Yes, join the Toastmasters. While others are gossiping about the latest sale in stores, an educated person would have a preference to discuss ideas or current affairs and listen to what others have to say. If a lucrative job is what you are aiming for, have the initiative to learn more, think more and to know more because knowledge is power, and you will never be lost with knowledge in you.

Dear friends, I hope you are NO MORE in doubt about the purpose of education. Besides, it is impossible to be overeducated. If being resourceful, securing a good future and being someone to be looked up to is what you aim to achieve in life, strive on while you are still here.

Remember, always make education your priority, otherwise you will be miserable from your ignorance.

Random

2011-03-14T01:40:00.005+08:00

was catching up with a good friend over the phone and for the fun of it, we randomly went discussing about "how beautiful love should be during the first month of a newly formed relationship".

According to him (judging from his past experience), when two people are attached, everyday should be as lovely as opening the door to heaven. everything that the other party does should bring a smile to another's face. the moment one wakes up, the first person that comes to his/her mind should be nobody else but the other half, and without realization, one's face is already beaming with happiness. That's love, for the first month at least.

IF whatever described above do not apply much to a newly formed couple - something is definitely wrong and one should really consider if he/she is on the right track.

30 minutes afterthat, I fumbled upon this article that (on the contrary) says "love can be complicated and confusing. it is not always pretty. neither it is always warm and secure. but it's always intimate and fundamental - the very fabric of our lives"

hmm... confusing, isn't it? just a random thought. not like it has anything to do with me anyway..

Why was It a Bad Day Today

2011-03-13T00:30:00.002+08:00

Reason number 1: somebody who pissed me off did NOT bother to say the word sorry even though he/she knew very well that he/she was at fault. Instead, that person gave me the silent treatment and regarded me as a stranger even though I took the first step to approach him/her already. That's it, I told myself. I have done my part. If one never learns how to apologize, one will never do. I'm done being the clown. I know how pathetic an egoistic person (like me) is, but some people just need to learn!

Reason number 2: I bought a book in Harris today at the price of RM49.90 and THEN I realized there’s a book fair at 1borneo lower ground that sells the very same book at the same price WITH 20% discount. Wasted my 10 bucks for nothing!!

Reason number 3: I know nobody should be blamed for this but I'm too faaaaaar behind my daily to-do-list and it really freaks me out right now. Unless I have 48 hours a day, I really doubt I will be able to settle everything in time now. This is really stressful.

Reason number 4: I feel intimidated. I can't solve the Chemical Reaction Engineering problems at all, when most of my friends could just settle everything with just a snap of fingers. I know they are very helpful, always ready to help.. but I am having problems with theory application and I don’t think anybody can really help me with this. I wanna be smarter!!

There. Four reasons why even getting a new book, a new bra and a new mouse didn't help ease my frustration (they actually made my purse bleed and now I am left with no choice but to start using my ang pao money booo!). Sometimes I think I am quite a whimpy kid, but when tension is all around you and the people around are not showing any signs to help, you just feel the need to whine and drown yourself with self-pity swt.

Time for some personal space and personal meditation.

Anxious

2011-03-12T00:48:00.003+08:00

To say that I'm not worried about the earthquake in Japan which spawned a 10-metre tsunami is a sheer lie. How not to be when someone so close to me is there right now and I haven't seen her for the past 2 or 3 years?

It's always during times like these that I will wonder, why is my sister there? why now? why this? why that? why, why, why?

No matter what the answers for my why questions are, I just hope all will be fine. It better be..